here it is

Jan. 28‘10

I was out of town recently trying to pass a cement truck with a large sticker on the back that read “Got Cement?” Hmmm… had a familiar ring. In the same trip, I observed a few billboards and storefronts with everything from “Got Cavities?” to “Got Termites?” and mused about the sincerest form of flattery. Why has this 1993 brainchild of ad agency Goodby Silverstein & Partners spawned an entire industry of “Got…” marketing slogans? Among other things, it took guts. If you have the Giuliani’s to take a leap into the unknown with some fresh creative, you might give birth one of these slogans that work their way into the vernacular like an SNL sketch (back when it was still funny).

It took real fortitude (and considerable cash) for the California Milk Processor Board to sit in that boardroom and give the nod to two words that at the time did not roll off the tongue like they do now. Fast forward millions of dollars and 17 years and you’ll find a nation of startup founders jumping out of their chairs at the brilliance of the “Got Asbestos?” slogan on the whiteboard. I’m convinced many of these folks feel they have created something original, but alas…

Slogan’s are kind of like fashion and have the same trickle-down effect. From the coastal boutiques (that make me very uncomfortable) on down to Nordstrom’s, then Kohl’s and ultimately Sears, the erosion and ubiquity of good fashion is an unstoppable force. Good ad creative follows the same path.

The open question slogan is another favorite. Microsoft’s “Where do you want to go today?” has generated thousands of “Where do you want to shop today?” and “Where do you want to eat today?” slogans and more familiar derivatives like “What’s in your wallet?” (CapitalOne), “What will you celebrate?” (Disney) and “Where will it take you?” (Sony Ericsson). Trust me, you’ll start noticing these everywhere  now.

I’m also a big fan of the “Made Simple” slogans popping up the past few years. From Jobs Made Simple (Simplyhired.com) to File Hosting Made Simple (Mediafire.com) to cooking, golf, CMS and literally thousands of others.

If a slogan grabs you the first time you hear it, there is a good chance it is familiar. Familiarity breeds fondness. It will remind your subconscious of a play on words, a double entendre or—if you’re not careful—a campaign developed elsewhere. The moral of the story? If you want to innovate, have the guts to make something different into a household phrase. Trust that with the right campaign and commitment, one day you’ll pass a cement truck drafting off your ingenuity.

Jul. 1‘09

As a Netflix subscriber I was impressed by the service, but in this era of immediate gratification the 2-day turnaround for movies required too much planning for the weekend. Blockbuster launched an ad campaign that wasn’t overly creative but communicated their value proposition clearly: Get 4 movies by mail and trade them for in-store movies, as often as you like for $20 a month.

It was an embarrassment of riches. I switched immediately.

Sure enough, for the first few weeks we enjoyed 8 movies in the house at once. We plowed through season after uninterrupted season of 24 with a combination of late night visits to the store and queue updates. The movies came faster than I could consume them. On top of it all, I had monthy coupons for a 9th movie or game rental.

Then, it began.

I showed up one day and the clerk said the words that would become the Blockbuster mantra for years to come: “Have you heard about our new policy?”

I’ll do my best now to chronicle the words that followed with each subsequent visit over the next several months:

• Week 1: “Now you can only trade in 4 mailers a month, the rest are coupons for $1.50 in-store rentals”

• Week 3: “We’re raising the price by $2 a month”

• Week 6: “All movies in the store are $.99 except for new releases”

• Week 8: “No more late fees or due dates, but you have to have the movies back within one week of their due date or we’ll charge your card for a purchase.”

• Week 10: “We’re going down from 4 mailers to 3 mailers to keep your $22 price”

• Week 13: “If you become a Blockbuster Rewards member for $20 a year, you get a free rental for each 4 movies you rent outside of your mailer exchanges”

• Week 18: “You have to tell us each time that you are a Rewards member to get credit towards your free rental. Otherwise we won’t know.”

• Week 22: “No more online coupons for movie rentals, but we print receipt coupons good towards one movie per month.”

• Week 23: “The receipt coupons are only good on no-new releases, which by the way are now $1.99 instead of $.99, except for family movies.”

• Week 26: “We no longer ship you mailers with movies from your online queue when you trade them in until you return the movie you traded.”

• Week 27: “You should have mentioned you are a Rewards member. That could have been free.”

• Week 29: “There is no due date on these movies since you used a mailer exchange. Other movies also don’t have a due date, but we still charge you full price if you keep them beyond the return date grace period.”

• Week 30: “You have a hold on your account because we charged you for a movie and you returned it after the second grace period.” [hands me my un-returnable copy of Paul Blart, Mall Cop]

• Week 31: “The reason we don’t send you any of the 30 movies in the top of your online queue is that they are in high demand. That’s why you keep getting Season 3 of McGuyver.”

• Week 33: “Blockbuster Rewards also allows you to get a free non-new release with every new release you rent at full price, but only on Sunday through Wednesday. Those may or may not count towards your one free rental after four paid rentals in a 30-day timeframe, excluding mailer exchanges, which still don’t have a due date, but we will charge you full price if you are late.”

• Week 39: If you show up in a yellow jumpsuit on any 1st or 3rd Wednesday, with one mailer that includes a disk from McGuyver season 3, and buy our candy and soda combo pack (featuring movie theater pricing even though you’re in a Safeway strip mall), and bring your coupon receipt, you can get up to two non-new release movies from the family section with no due dates of any kind (for up to 1 week).

• Week 40: “Welcome back to Netflix, Mr. Steele.”

Like the longest, most agonizing death scene in movie history, Blockbuster has been killing me slowly for months. As a marketing strategist, I came to realize that the real entertainment wouldn’t be found on the discs, it was behind the counter and worth every penny.

Why did they do this? Netflix seemed to send Blockbuster into a panic a few years back and Blockbuster responded with an unsustainable model to stop mass defections. Then, very gradually, they tested their customer’s resolve on a path back to profitability. They probably counted on the pull of investment (I don’t want to re-build my queue at Netflix so I won’t switch) and immediacy (2 days is too long) to overpower the weekly micro-pains they delivered in their unending new policy messaging.

My advice to Blockbuster? Understand that your store employees have been delivering negative, confusing messages to your customer base for years (how are those attrition rates?). Build a business model that is sustainable and has the flexibility to adapt to competitive threats without eroding value.

When you take something away (which you should only do very rarely), give something back. Adding unexpected value will increase retention and word-of-mouth, maybe even revenue. Some ideas:

• Introduce a premium membership product and give customers a free month with the additional features and a compelling offer to upgrade.

• Consider a coupon for $X off a previously-viewed title for sale as a “thanks” for understanding a “policy change” while driving incremental revenue and clearing out inventory.

• Include a free downloadable movie (no disti costs) to drive trial and up-sell a new service.

Once they re-set the value proposition, I’ll gladly come back.

May. 15‘09

I know how to write a really lame positioning statement. How could I not? The examples are ubiquitous. If you’re in need of a lifeless, verbose positioning statement for your product or service, please follow these five time-tested steps.

  1. Understand your product, target audiences and competitive landscape really well.
  2. Pick the one thing you do differently that your target actually cares about, and will continue to care about for several years.
  3. Write it in a concise statement using positive present tense: “The Nitro-Ball is the only toy ball with an unstable core of liquid nitrogen.”
  4. Get tons of feedback from colleagues and ensure each of them makes a contribution, however small. Don’t stop until you have an edit from everyone and consensus from all.
  5. Hang signs around the company with the new positioning statement: “The Nitro-Ball is, was, and will forever be the only entertainment-enhanced spherical projectile for children of all ages, of every race, creed, size, ability and species with explosive power, for explosive fun and also it will literally explode if it falls outside the 3 degree range of stability.”

You may be thinking “the statement in step #3 was actually pretty good.” Bzzzzz! Incorrect. There is one serious flaw with the initial statement that the untrained eye wouldn’t pick up. It looks way too short when framed next to the incomprehensible 1,500-word company vision statement. It’s too easy to remember, internalize, act upon. Where’s the challenge?!?